Personify Diabetes
This is the 5th in the series of posts for #Dblog week. Today I am taking wildcard #2. You can check out otehr posts pertaining to wildcard #2 by clicking on the link at the bottom of the page. We have some terrific blogs going this week, please look around the online community for wonderful insight and humor about diabetes. Now you will notice that not only am I taking a wildcard but i am also cheating. This is a reprint of a blog I did back on November 14, 2014 for TUDiabetes. You can check out the original blog at by clicking here. Sheryl i knwo cheaters never win, but I am not racing, so I hope you let this cheat pass.
What does your diabetes look like?
That was the question asked by Emily Cole on October 22, 2014. It was asked in relation to the Betes presentation which occurred the following week. Now let me state that Sheryl and I support work of the Betes and believe in its mission to provide a way for people with diabetes to deal with the emotional issues of the disease. You can check in on the Betes by clicking on that link. I suspect if you look into the project you will be a big fan of theirs just as Sheryl and I are already. Incidentally this summer the Betes will be performing in 10 diabetic summer camps, it is a big leap forward for an organization that does such important work.
So what would my diabetes look like? Would it be the monster hiding under the bed? Would it be tame and docile riding in your pocket or belt as an ever present companion? I have been contemplating the answer to that question and I think mine has changed over time and maybe it changes daily. Sort of like my schizophrenic friend who changes mood every minute of every day.
I think sometimes it might be red and other times blue. It would have big eyes with a nose the size of a battle ship. Why such a big nose, because it always sticks its nose into my business. Its eyes would be very large, perhaps the size of double silver dollars. Large eyes because it is always watching and perhaps looking for a way to stick its nose in my business.
I think it would have a tail made of insulin. The one thing that holds it back but never tames it is insulin. Diabetes is always ready to push ahead and break the insulin strings that hold it in place. It roars nothing can hold me nothing and yet it is tame today, raging tomorrow perhaps but tame today.
Perhaps diabetes is lurking maybe, just off the horizon. Diabetes is always ready to get involved at the drop of a hat. It always wants to insert itself into the mix. It always seems to wear something inappropriate when it shows up diabetes is never suave or sophisticated, it moves like a bully looking for me and hoping I have my guard down. Diabetes always wants to join the mix, be it a dinner party, a softball game or first thing in the morning. My diabetes is always around always waiting for the most inconvenient time to get involved.
My Father
I am drawn to one of my dad’s sayings. When I would get sick, something like the flu, he would say listen boy, ‘you need to get that fixed’. It always made me laugh when he said that. One thing I regret is that he never said that when it came to diabetes. Perhaps he felt I would be upset with him, and perhaps he was right. But today with him gone I long to hear him say ‘boy you need to get that fixed’. When my meter showed 211 this morning, I heard my father say in my head ‘boy you need to get that fixed’. That voice in my head gave me a remembrance, a chuckle, and a special longing to talk to him, something I can no longer do.
Cure
So with all the craziness why do I put up with diabetes? I mean no rational man would let diabetes hang around. A rational man would get that fixed. Well I guess I am trying the best way I know how. I am living forward. I am looking beyond me. When I think of how to get it fixed I think of my grandchildren. They do not have diabetes, but unlike those children I love so much, I can see the future and it scares me. So today when I say to myself, ‘boy you need to get that fixed’, I think of them.
I believe in my heart there is no ‘cure’ for me. The cure, if it exists, is for the future. When I hear that voice in my head, I tell dad, I am trying. I really am trying. I want to get it fixed, but I want to fix it for Madison, Graham and Benjamin. If I can help cure it for their generation, I might someday say, dad I got that fixed. That would be the day my diabetes would stop being a bully, stop picking on others and stop skipping generations. When I stop the lurking around my grandchildren that is my idea of a getting it fixed.
Yeah my diabetes is a bully, I want it to go away and stop lurking around my children and grandchildren. Dad, if you are listening, I am trying to get diabetes fixed, I really am. I promise I am working at it, just like you and mom tried and you know something dad, someday we will succeed.
Other blogs pertaining to wildcard #2
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