Laughing to overcome

A friend of mine, we will call him Jason lived in a homeless shelter. Jason would tell you he was not homeless , rather he was housing challenged. He would tell you he was not diabetic, rather he was overly sugar blessed. He did not have aides; rather his immune system was lazy.

Jason

I met Jason while volunteering at the shelter and his smile and laugh were infectious. We hit it off immediately. He asked why I was coming there I told him I was looking for something to do and he said I should stare at paint dry or color leaves green instead of coming to visit this facility. Truth is I had an ulterior motive for going to the shelter. I wanted to be on the AIDS advocacy board of directors.  I had been interested in this facility for years. Even before I met Jason or visited the shelter I designated all my United Way Contributions for this charity and my reward was to receive odd mailings about fundraisers to be held by the organization.

Grand Masquerade Ball

Annually the Damon Center in Indianapolis holds the Grand Masquerade Ball. The announcement was a set of cards with models posing as Greek Gods. I thought it was funny, but the package was delivered to my neighbor by mistake. Not noticing the address she opened the package. Out fell 30 cards of people, mostly men, dressed like and posed like Greek Gods. When I got home from work she quickly rushed over and said she opened the package by mistake, but knew it was mistakenly sent to me. I told her thanks took the package and asked her not to tell Sheryl of the package. When I shut the door, I laughed so hard. She thought I might be hiding some basic truth from my wife and every time we saw her out you could tell she wondered if Sheryl knew my secret.

Perhaps if I took a reeducation class my issues could be resolved, she once offered. I told her I saw a therapist often (truth) and had explored reeducation therapy (a lie). My neighbor grew more concerned. As I knew concern was rising, I put a bumper sticker on my car for my favorite charity which I did only to keep the tongues flapping.

My wife knew all about what I was doing and she did not blow my cover. As I recall, I did not speak to her anymore about the situation. Which was more than fine with me, but I continued my support of the organization.

Damon Center

Eventually I had some personal contact with the organization and I was impressed by their professionalism and dedication to the mission of serving victims of HIV/Aides and other sexually transmitted diseases. They maintained a food pantry which my church supported, a residential shelter for up to 8 men with Aides and STD testing. All services are nonjudgmental, all conducted with dignity and all with a sense of the most fun that can be given.

The humor that was what attracted me. This charity is not poor, it is plenty of community support, but the shelter could easily be 3 times the size it is today. The food pantry is routinely overwhelmed, and the group must increase its counseling services by about 10 times to be effective. In the end, I was never invited to join the board, had I still been working I might have been invited, but they needed

contributors more than Board members and the contributions they needed where large. Over time, as my immune system became more compromised because of the use of immune suppressants I was using for RA I stopped working with them.

Party

But before I did I was introduced to Jason. Jason told me right off, he was a type 1 diabetic. So we shared experiences. He also told me he wanted to throw a party. A party I pondered? I asked who would attend. Jason said he would attend, and if I attended that would be 2 and 2 is a party! I asked about the invitations. I needed no repeat of the Athena theme and he said no I could easily bring my wife.

The theme of the party was ‘today’, and I agreed to buy the cake. So he and I and another resident had a great celebration. He blew out a candle and we have a nice 45 minutes pf celebration.

One thing you have to get used to about aides’ shelters is that they can turn people over quickly. Your buddy today could be gone tomorrow and that is the way it goes. Jason moved on and out of my life. I assume he may have succumbed to the ravages of his body or perhaps he is still living, still pushing on, still eating cake and still laughing. What I know is his laugh remains a great source inspiration, because every time I face a complex issue. I think of Jason’s’ laugh.

Today on, Thanksgiving 2015, I am thinking of Jason’s laugh. Because when a man can laugh like that almost all problems are small even really big ones. Sometimes I get down because of RA or Diabetes  but then i think of Jason and laugh .

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